About Me

 For those who may or may not know, I have Alopecia Universalis. Alopecia is an autoimmune disease with no cure. An autoimmune disease is a genetic medical condition (disease) where your body fights itself. The body fights its own functions, its own immune system, its own ability to repair or maintain itself. My autoimmune disease fights its own ability to grow hair. It’s an internal, immune fight where my body thinks my hair follicles are invaders, and instantly destroys any hair follicles that try to grow. The way your body fights bacteria or infections, is what mine does to any hair that tries to grow on my body. There are many types of alopecia. I’m about to explain the types that I have personally experienced. 

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I first lost all my hair when I was four months old. The doctor thought I was pulling my own hair out, to the point where I was bald. My parents knew this wasn’t the case. A little while later, my hair grew back. Not too long later, my hair fell out, in patches, again. This time my parents took it further. I saw different specialists, many trips to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, ON, and I was eventually diagnosed Alopecia Areata (AA). Alopecia Areata is defined as “patchy baldness”. A little while later,  when I was six years old, I lost all of my hair…permanently. Since then (2001), I have never been able to grow any head hair back. This type of Alopecia is called Alopecia Totalis, which is full head baldness. Over the duration of a couple of months, it developed from full head baldness to full body baldness.  This full, head to toe body baldness is called Alopecia Universalis (AU). This means I have no hair on my head, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, no hair on my arms, legs, are anywhere else for that matter.  This was a hard diagnosis to understand and accept growing up, but with the love and support of my family and small circle of friends, I made it through.

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Between grade 1 and grade 4 my grandma, and my mom, would make me hats to wear at school. At the time, I didn’t understand, but looking back I’m so grateful for my grandma and my mom for going out of their way just to help me. Those hats were my safety nets growing up and I cherish the work they did for me. I would also wear bandanas to school, but I eventually grew out of them. When grade 4 rolled around, my parents bought me my first wig, at a cost of $4,000. But, ever since my diagnosis, I’ve struggled, and spent all my time, trying to hide my baldness from the world. Until now.   

I don’t remember much before the age of 6, but I do remember that time when I lost my hair completely. It is hard enough growing up as a girl, but to be a girl growing up without hair added an extra challenge. Every girl dreams of being beautiful. They want to look pretty and be liked. This felt like an impossible achievement for me. There were many, many, many days (almost everyday) growing up where I would cry and wish I wasn’t me. I never felt good enough, I never felt pretty. I felt different, and I felt like I would never fit in. I felt like I needed my wigs.  I stopped playing sports in high school in fear that my baldness would be exposed. I stopped having sleep overs  or going swimming with my friends because I didn’t want to risk them finding out. I stopped almost everything. These were some of the hardest things to give up, because I didn’t want to exclude myself from them. I wanted to be on the sports teams in high school, I wanted to go swimming with friends. I wanted to join my friends on roller coasters. I felt like I had to put on makeup everyday to hide the fact that I didn’t have eyelashes or eyebrows. But I had to protect myself. High school was full of bullies and judgmental people. I needed to avoid being exposed. Eventually I went into a depression, hating myself for the way things were. Hated that I had to hide. I didn’t have the confidence to be myself. I didn’t have the strength to stand up to the mean teens in high school. This fear, this self hate I had for myself was stressful.  Yet, I hid my emotional side as well. I didn’t want people seeing me struggle. I didn’t want my schoolmates to know how I felt. I didn’t want to show my emotions, in fear that people would ask me about it. My persona was happy-go-lucky, because I never wanted to see anyone else struggle or be upset, especially in regard to my hair. I created a self-inflicted, unwarranted fear of becoming an outcast. I feared that it would of been disastrous if people found out about my hairloss.   

Once I got out of high school, things slowly changed. I started to build a little bit more confidence, started finding online support groups. One day, I started to draw on my eyebrows. I made the leap and I got rid of my bangs (on my wigs). I eventually found a place to get eyebrows microbladed (tattooed) on my face, which was a huge step for me. This was the start of my change. My metamorphosis. I hid behind my hair and behind my makeup for many years. I spent so much energy every day making sure no one got to know the real side of me.   

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I knew deep down, that this secret keeping was going to change… some day. 

Over the past few years, I’ve been focusing on my mental health and learning positive living. I’ve been spending time teaching myself that what I have, and who I am,  is okay. I’ve discovered that there are many other women in the world that have this autoimmune condition and go with, or without, wigs. I have accepted that this is part of who I am.  I’ve realized that being sad, or angry, towards my hairloss was not a healthy way of coping. It was the opposite of what I should of felt growing up. 

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This, my alopecia, has taught me so many things throughout my life. It taught me from a very young age to always be nice, because you never know the struggle people may be facing. It taught me to never make fun of someone who looks or acts differently, because I understand the insecurity and pain they could be facing. It taught me that beauty comes in many shapes and forms, and that society shouldn’t define us. It taught me to always support other people, no matter their differences. It taught me to always try to make people feel good about themselves, because it was exactly how I wanted to be treated. It taught me to always help those struggling, because I struggled for almost 17-18 years of my life, and all I wanted was to be accepted and supported. Things weren’t emotionally easy for me, and I never wanted others to feel the same way I did growing up. I also learned, looking back, that the fear I had growing up was unnecessary. No one really responded negatively when they found out about my wigs. Everyone seemed accepting and sometimes helpful.

Now, I’ve met some pretty amazing, accepting people that accept me for who I am. I’ve met strangers online who understand, and support the decision of coming out with it. They have re-enforced that there is nothing to be afraid of. Bald women are taking over social media, being social media influencers, make up artists, models, and stars on television. I’ve joined Facebook support groups and have talked to other locals about alopecia. I am so thankful that the man in my life has been so AMAZING with my hairloss.  He supports me 100% day to day and encourages me to be okay with the way that I am. He has shown me that the raw me, without my hair and without my makeup, is still, if not more, beautiful. I have a small circle of amazing friends, who support my decisions and have been by my side during my experimental times out in public without my hair. I have amazing parents who have supported me and worked their butts off to help me throughout this whole thing. They have been there for me every step of the way and will continue to do so. 

My new goal in life is to promote awareness and acceptance of alopecia. I also want to promote self love and healthy mindsets. Wearing wigs since grade 4 has been and still is a very expensive factor in my life. Wigs, and makeup, are very expensive for people trying to hide this condition, and it is not something the general public thinks about, or knows about.  I want to get to a place in my life where I am comfortable with, or without my wigs. I don’t want to use wigs as a crutch in my self esteem anymore. I want to be the embodiment of self acceptance. 

My message for those who have read this far, is to not be afraid of your uniqueness. Accept yourself, you’re living with yourself for the rest of your life so you might as well enjoy it. In the same sense, please don’t make fun of those who are different. They may be struggling. They know the struggle more than you will ever know. Saying negative, unnecessary comments won’t change a thing about them. I’m 27 now and I remember every single negative comment I have heard about myself, and about bald women in general. I remind myself everyday that other people’s negativity is not a reflection of me.  I will always defend those who won’t defend themselves, because I was once in those shoes, and I hope others will always defend those in need too.  

Thank you for reading this whole thing. I appreciate those who have accepted me for who I am. You all are in a good place in my heart and I hold you all near and dear to me. But, also thank you to those who haven’t been the nicest. You have helped make me stronger. I have grown so much throughout my life, and through this personal journey of growth and self acceptance. I have vowed to myself that I will continue to grow, build strength, and embrace what the future may hold with all of this.

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I hope you all learn to love yourself, because you only have one life to live. You are perfectly imperfect no matter what you think your flaws are. They make you, you. I am now focusing on promoting positivity everywhere I go. I want to show people that anger, sadness and self hate are emotions we shouldn’t be carrying towards themselves.  I want to be a role model. I want to be the Alopecian I needed growing up. I want to be a positive influence and demonstrate that there’s more to people than just looks. I want to show other people that just because you’re different, doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy. You are worthy of an amazing life.

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My goal now is to provide services that help others become the best versions of themselves and help make this world a better place for all!

Thank you,

Kelsey Davidson ♥